I can trace my Kundalini Awakening back to Christmas time 1996, although it may have been going on even before then. At that time I had no spiritual knowledge or context whatsoever to understand what was happening to me. I remember in my last year or so of school feeling a sense of isolation and aloneness even when with friends. That was possibly an early sign of the path that was to come for me. Then in 5th Year of high school, with the possibility of staying on for the final year before going to uni, I ran into issues with choosing subjects. I only needed to select 3 subjects for 6th Year but 2 of the subjects I wanted to take were in the same column and I had to select only one from each. There was really nothing I wanted to take in one of the columns and after trying to negotiate this with teachers without success a voice within me announced "I'm finished with education now". I quit school at the beginning of 6th Year, got sent to the Career's Centre and a month or two later they found me a job in a private bank working as a junior in the mailroom and basic admin duties.
I'd been in the job 3 months as Christmas 1996 approached and I remember in those initial months ripping my tie off in anger many mornings. My mum was noticing a change in me. It culminated when I was forced to go to the office Christmas party when I really didn't want to. In the end, I went and met Paul Gascoigne there (he was staying at the same hotel the party was held). The next day I felt out of it, really spaced out and weird feeling. At first I thought it was a hangover but as the day went on I realised this is not what a hangover usually feels like, although my experience of hangovers was still fairly new as I hadn't been drinking for long.
The next day I still felt weird, and the next as I went out to do some last minute Christmas shopping with a friend. On Christmas Day I still felt completely spaced out. Couldn't concentrate, things looked different, sounds were different plus I felt some flu-like symptoms. That was the Christmas I got my first guitar. I was 17 years old. Luckily, I was on holiday anyway so I thought I'd be fine by the time I had to go back to work. I eventually did feel back to normal and remained that way for another month or so. Then, again, after a night out drinking the same feeling was there again. This time I had to take a week off work. On and on this pattern went throughout 1997 - a month or so of feeling normal then having to be off work for a week or two. It was like a strange flu but with strange symptoms like clocks appearing backwards to me, unable to read paper or watch tv, not really knowing fully what was going on around me. During those periods I couldn't really do anything but lay in bed. So many times these periods seemed to be triggered by alcohol because I'd always feel it come on the day after I'd been out on a Friday or Saturday night. I even asked the doctor once "am I allergic to alcohol?". He assured me no, it wasn't that. My local doctor could find nothing wrong so put it down as a "mystery virus" and then eventually my workplace urged me to go to see a doctor privately at BUPA, which was available for free to staff. They did brain scans and various tests and found nothing.
By August 1997, I quit the job. In the end I was off work more than I was there and the other staff were getting frustrated having to cover for me all the time. My doctor then signed me off work altogether for a year or so, labelling it Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/M.E. Eventually I was able to get a job again but I never quite felt the same after that.
Fast forward to late 2006 - early 2007 when I experienced a full-blown awakening. Again, like 10 years earlier the signs of it were there before the big impact. From 2005 onwards I got heavily into Bob Marley, Bruce Lee and Kate, my girlfriend at the time, got a book from J. Krishnamurti. So for the next year or two those influences were strongly present. But the real turning point was innocently going to see the Borat movie with my mum and Kate at the cinema. There was one joke about "shape-shifting Jews" which I didn't get and it stuck with me when I went home. So I googled that term and it led me to David Icke. I had been vaguely aware of David Icke back in the 90s through seeing him occasionally ridiculed in the newspapers but other than that knew nothing about him. Now in October 2006, I watched a 6-hour talk of his called Secrets Of The Matrix. It blew my mind but yet strangely felt true. I couldn't believe all the stuff he was saying about political figures and royalty and how he was getting away with that.
This then opened up a 3-month period up until Christmas where each night I'd watch, read or listen to some new spiritual/conspiracy related item. These were just coming to me effortlessly and one seemed to lead onto the other. I watched things like The Secret, discovered Alex Jones, Jordan Maxwell, Michael Tsarion, explored things like brainwave entrainment. With each one I'd intuitively feel if it felt true to me or false and I discarded what didn't sit right while the rest remained. Eventually, in January 2007 I was led to Eckhart Tolle. I had no idea who he was or even what he was, but I sat and watched one of his talks. He spoke of 'you' being a collection of things in a basket - your name, your age, what you do, how clever or stupid you are. This really hit home to me and I found myself asking "why has nobody told me this before? Why have I had to wait 27 years of my life for someone to confirm this back to me? I always felt this to be true and now I hear someone saying it out loud".
From that moment on I felt a strange peace and it never went away. The next day I went out and still it was there and it didn't seem to matter about my external circumstances, which weren't particularly great at that time in comparison to most people's standards. I noticed things even looked different and eventually it became clear that even if stuff was happening on the surface, like irritation or anger or sadness, this constant underlying peace was always there. I later came to hear this type of phenomenon from Eckhart himself and other awakened humans.
Soon after this, in March 2007, my mum died suddenly and completely out of the blue. Around this time I had been getting led to many websites talking about Spiritual Awakening and Kundalini Awakening. They listed symptoms and things that may happen in your life, one of which was somebody close to you may die. As I looked more into the symptoms I saw not only that so many of them related to what I was going through that year but that they also described the symptoms I had been experiencing when I was 17 in the job at the private bank. I saw mention of pre-awakening symptoms that can occur in some people and how often the mainstream medical system will incorrectly diagnose this as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/M.E.
Throughout that year, 2007, I went through many spiritual experiences, each one deepening my understanding and seemingly progressing into another phase, until it became clear to go to continental Europe in 2010. To this day I still experience things as a result of the awakening and the transformation has been so total there is no way back and no way to fit into the old model of society. In fact, no model of society, even a new one. The awakening experience takes you out of models and systems altogether and into a way of living which is more like a flow. All systems, organisations, models are too rigid when you are dealing with Infinite Consciousness, which knows no barriers or boundaries. This is the state I've been left in and it is from that state everything I do comes, how I live, the Music I make.
* I wrote this more detailed account of my experiences back in 2014: